How well do you want to know your sperm donor?
A known sperm donor is a friend, a family member or someone who voluntarily donates their sperm to be used in assisted reproduction. Known donors can choose to be anonymous or opt to play a role in the child’s life. The sperm donor is not involved with the recipient of the sperm in a sexual way and simply donates the sperm for the conception of a child.
Choosing a known sperm donor is a popular option but many clinics will suggest you consider counselling as well as getting legal advice before making any final decisions. It differs from anonymous donation as there are many more issues to consider including legal, medical, social and familial ones.
All known sperm donors have to be tested as per regular protocol and full screening is still carried out. Semen samples will be frozen and quarantined for approximately six months in most clinics. This is to guarantee any infectious diseases can be tested for before insemination. Once the quarantine period is over both the semen and the donor will be retested for infectious diseases. The quality of the semen has a key role in how successful the process is.
Choosing a known donor
Below and the key considerations when you choose a known donor and the outcomes of each:
- The child will have the right to form a relationship with the donor, if agreed legally. This can help the child understand their birth process better which can be difficult if they have no contact with their biological father.
- The child will be legally entitled to know their genetic background and origin and if involved the donor can share this information with them themselves. This can help the child come to terms with their alternative birth more easily.
- Utilising a known donor means you can involve another key person in the child’s life in addition to yourself and your partner. Having a third role model in the child’s life and choosing the person due to their personal traits means you can inject further positivity into your child’s upbringing.
- Knowing their donor can help a child avoid any psychological difficulties relating to their genetic background in later life.
Choosing a known donor is an option many people choose as they like to have a clear understanding of the exact person who is fathering their child. It can work if you’ve got close family members who want to help and it can also work if you use one of the online forums developed to help you find a known donor. It’s a very different experience to using an anonymous donation and you should always consider all options.
Choosing a sperm donor for your prospective child can be a difficult decision to make, and your requirements for your sperm donor will surely differ depending on the other people in your life.
One of the best ways to think of the most important qualities for your sperm donor is to think about your own relations and friends. What are the most interesting and important things about those people in your eyes? Is it their height, hair colour, religion or complexion, or is it what they do for a living, what their hobbies are, their values or their education?
Chances are that your child, once he or she is born, will be far more interested to know whether their natural father was an athlete or a scientist than to know that he was chosen because of his tall dark and handsome looks that didn’t pass on to your offspring. Using an anonymous sperm donor will mean that your child will never know or see a picture the man that gave them the chance that they needed to be born, and so his looks and resemblance to them won’t be as important as his past.
Certainly, your donor’s medical history is one of the most important factors to consider when you are considering an anonymous sperm donor, and if you want to keep the procedure as blind as possible, then at least consider the donor’s family health history. Most sperm banks in the west are now known for the quality of their sperm testing, particularly for hereditary and acquired diseases, giving you as much knowledge as possible about any possible conditions that your child could have. Unfortunately, however, some of these could slip through the cracks and if your child was to develop a genetic disease further down the line then you won’t be able to contact an anonymous donor to obtain any further medical information.
Therefore, if you want as little knowledge as possible about your child’s father, at least make sure you know all you can about their health; otherwise you could regret it in years to come.
What to Do Once You Have Found a Sperm Donor Online
We’re sure that you feel so much more relaxed now that you have found your perfect sperm donor online through CoParents.com, but you might also be wondering what you should be doing next. And that’s a very good question.
Once you’ve chosen your sperm donor and made contact through coparents.com, it would be wise to meet the donor in one form or another. You could choose to do this virtually, or you could meet in person in a casual setting. Once you have met your donor and are satisfied with the result of your meeting, you will then need to decide which form on insemination you wish to use, and find a HFEA regulated fertility clinic if necessary.
If you are going to meet your sperm donor virtually, then you should perhaps set up a webcam call through which you can both discuss your preferences, and then you can get a look at the man whose genes will be a part of your child. If you want to keep your sperm donor anonymous (this could be your preference or his), then it is possible to ‘meet’ via a simple phone call, but this may make it more difficult to ask and answer the necessary questions.
If it is possible, it would be advantageous to meet your donor face to face. It is well known that face to face communication is by far a lot easier than communicating via the telephone or the internet, and this way you will really be able to get to know your donor best. You should perhaps arrange to meet casually the first time around, so that there is not too much pressure on the both of you. This could be in a local coffee shop close by to both of you, or in a pub or another public setting, this way you will both be relaxed and able to get to know the true personalities of each other. Remember, this is not a date, so you shouldn’t be putting on airs and graces for each other, it is important, particularly if the donor wishes to be a part of the child’s life, that you get to know the real personalities of each other, because you will be involved in each other’s lives for a long time ahead.
Once you have met your donor for the first time and are still comfortable to go ahead with insemination, you will need to decide which method of insemination you wish to go ahead with. Read more about different forms of insemination on coparents.com here, but make sure that all parties agree with the decision made.
If you choose to go for artificial insemination, you should find a HFEA regulated fertility clinic that is in a convenient location for all parties. The donor can then make his donation in the clinic, and they will look after the specimen until you are ready to be inseminated. This enables the donor to remain anonymous if he wishes to do so, and he doesn’t have to be present for the entire insemination process. The clinic will also undertake any necessary health and fertility screening tests before the donor makes his contribution, so that you don’t have to worry about that part of it.
However, if you wish to go forward with natural insemination, you will have to carry out these screening checks yourself, and for a helpful guide to pre-donation tests, please see coparents.com’s guide here. Once these checks have been carried out, you can go ahead with insemination in the way that makes you the most comfortable.
Sperm Donor Health Checklist
Choosing to become a sperm donor to help out a single woman, a couple struggling to get pregnant or a same sex couple who need somebody to help them become a family is an extremely selfless act, particularly if you are choosing to do this without requesting access to the child.
However, before you begin your process of donating sperm, it is imperative that you take yourself through all of these tests suggested below to ensure that you are in the best possible shape. This will surely help to speed up the process of sperm donation, and ensure that the insemination process is easy and, most importantly, successful.
Prospective parents looking for a sperm donor should require results of these tests from every sperm donor that they speak to, and it will give them peace of mind when you begin the insemination process to know that their donor is healthy, fertile and ready to help create a new life.
Besides legal checks, accounting for your own and your family’s medical history and agreeing on a contract with your co-parent or the parents you are donating to. The following are the most important tests that you should ensure to undertake before donating your sperm.
Test for sexually transmitted infections.
Even if you are 100% certain about your sexual health, you should undertake both a HIV and a blood and urine test for any other sexually transmitted diseases. This test will enable you to then prove to the prospective parents or the sperm bank that you are in good sexual health and that you are at absolutely no risk of passing on any ill health either to the prospective mother or to the child.
Blood typing test.
You should undertake a blood and urine test for blood typing and other health indicators such as urine analysis and liver function. This enables you to have an in depth analysis of your medical health, ensuring that no issues slip through the cracks, and it will give the prospective parents peace of mind before insemination.
Genetic testing.
It’s important that you, and perhaps the prospective mother, undertake testing for genetic carrier traits. This is more important for the sperm donor to carry out if he is either an anonymous donor or a donor that will not play a part in the child’s life. Allowing the parents to have the information regarding genetic carrier traits will give them the ability to prepare themselves for any possible health problems in the future, without needing to track down their donor or navigate tricky medical testing. These tests should be carried out for:cystic fibrosis, sickle-cell disease, thalassemia and other blood disorders.
Semen analysis.
Besides health testing, you will also need to ensure you get your sperm tested and ‘certified’ before you donate. These tests should incorporate sperm count and motility at the very least.
Sperm count
Sperm count testing involves measuring the concentration of sperm in a man’s ejaculation and measuring this volume against what typical figures state as ‘normal’ – which is currently over 15 million sperm per millilitre. It is possible to undertake these tests at home with your own kit, or to have it done for you by a medical professional.
Motility
Motility testing means testing how active your sperm are. Motility and sperm count should both be tested as one result can affect the other. For example, a low sperm count but a very high rate of motility could mean an overall very good fertility rate, which a high sperm count but a low rate of motility could also mean the same. It is when a low sperm count and a low motility rate occur that fertility may be questioned.
My name is Danielle and my wife have chosen surrogacy and we are looking for a donor around Soringfield/Ozark Missouri
I’m looking for a free sperm donor
How do I go about this
Hi I’m Melissa from Toowoomba Qld and I’m wanting to find an anonymous sperm donor
Me and my wife are looking for a free donor in the Baton Rouge area asap. Also would like to use donor an additional time for second child.
H idea? Do you not mean “h.i.v.”
Hello Im interested in finding a free sperm donor, Id love to find out more on finding one in my area please let me know thank you.
I live in VA and looking for a sperm donor.
Hey I’m just turn 25 September 10 and am ready to have a baby I’m lesbian and me and my girl is ready to start a family I’m looking for a black African american who is healthy and has good health and has to be test for decease like Hiv and STDs so healthy and if you want to be apart of the baby like I would not mind its important to me that your in the baby life and the baby has a father figure in her and his live I want someone who is the age of 23 to 38 and lives in statesville north Carolina
Hi I’m looking for a sperm donor in Belgium, preferably African American or mixed African caucasian American, basically a black donor. My son is black and I would like a bigger family, and my son would love brothers and sisters. There is no dad in the picture.
I need a speed donor please
Hi pls I’m 30yrs and I want to get pregnant but my husband is having fertility issues, please I and my husband is looking for a donor in Nigeria I will be glad if someone can help bcos is 9yrs now of our marriage
Aloha I’m here in Honolulu, I’m looking for a free sperm donor. I’m looking to extend my family. Me and my husband had come to agreement. We had been blessed with 7 kids plus 2 more and are very grateful. We could extend our family but my husband can no longer have any more. We are more excited to even find one donor. Who is healthy and from the Islands. Thank you!! And have a blessed Day!
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I am looking for a donor near Toronto Canada. Is there anyone close to me.
Hi my name is meaghan I’m using my sister’s email address . I am looking for a sperm donor online? I want to have a baby. My daughter died tragically and Its been over a year and now I’ve decided I want to have a child. I am not in a relationship I’m coming out of a very abusive relationship and can’t date anybody right now. Please if there s a young woman that can empathize with me who possibly has a Male friend who is willing o help me, I’d be very grateful.
Looking for a sperm donor in the Charleston area. Me and my gf want a baby! I am 36 she’s 32
Hallo, I live in Copenhagen, if you are interested, please write me a message.
Hi we have 3 sons with autism
And my partner had vastomy done. Due to this reason
We are looking for a Australian sperm donor as my husband is Australian. We want the donor to be Anonymous and no involvement of the child but we like information about the donor like a pic any health in his family overall our age are 34/35 of age
Hi me and my wife is looking for a sperm donor. A healthy and free from std or hiv. We leave here in Toronto, Ontario. Pls message me. Thanks
I am strong married men living in Copenhagen, never smoke, never use alcohol, if interested write me e mail.
looking for a sperm donor for my partner and i.
Hi,I’m a married wife me and my husband have a 9 year old but we’ve been trying to get pregnant for over 5 yrs now, both of us we are African, we really need another child I’m 35 yrs old.If somebody can help us I’ll really appreciate . Preferably and African person.
I want to know more about free sperm donations. My husband and I want to have a baby but unfortunately he’s unable to do so. 🙁
I live in Copenhagen, ready to help you, write me e mail.
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Hi,
My Name is Val from Port Huron am Looking sperm donors. am 46yrs and ready to have baby. Probably I would like a red head white man that is free of STDs and hiv. God bless u as u come and be a blessing to me and my husband .
Female early 20s looking for a Sperm donor . Located in Vermont. Willing to co part but not required. Looking for Caucasian male preferably blue eyes (not required) .
Hi,
My Name is jane from Seattle Washington am Looking sperm donors or co parenting am 40yrs and ready to have baby. Probably I would like white man .God bless u as u come and be a blessing to me.
I’m an older white guy. Free sperm available to women in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area. I will come to you. Please email me.
My name is April I am 25 I live in Missouri and I would like to keep my options open to find a sperm donor I would prefer a black male considering insemination both artificially and or naturally
I have been wanting a child. Havent found the right partner. Curious about Dave from central Iowa, are you still interested in doing this?
“Hello, looking to be a sperm donor to someone in need. I’m 40 very much in shape,blonde,green eyes,excellent health,natural straight teeth and educated. I’m in central iowa.”
I’m looking for a sperm donor.
Anyone want to be that guy?
Drop me a message…
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If you still needed help, please write me, I live in Denmark.
Hello,
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Thank you.
Looking for a sperm doner for my girlfriend live close to Chicago I’m willing to pay for all expenses she 21 years old 5’4 brown skin
my name is brahmam i am indian
Hi we’re a married couple in our 40” looking for someone to help us with a sprem Donor for wife ?husband had a Vasectomy back in 2000 and can’t have a kids with his wife So if there’s anyone available to help us out with some sperm so wife could have a baby please let us know this Person we’re would like to look for would have to be Caucasian or Mexican please help us we can’t really afford a sperm bank thanks in advance …
Aussie professional working mum looking for a chance to have a third and final child. Looking for donor or co parent opportunity if over 35 years old (for co parent). Easiest path is within Australia however I have always dreamed of relocating to the US -let me know how many dreams you can make comes true
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Hi I’m trying to find a free sperm donor. I’m a Puerto Rican, lesbian woman, 35 years old and ready to start a family. I’m educated, healthy, and employed. I’m looking for someone tall, a graduate preferably, and healthy. Should be able to provide family medical history.
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I’m trying to help my daughter find a free sperm. She’s 29, healthy, educated and employed. He should be healthy, educated, drug/disease free. Able to provide family medical history with nothing major, any age and you’re also black.send photo and brief bio.