• what is coparenting?

    Posted by KAR86 on 29 April 2018 at 19:23

    What does it mean to co parent outside of a committed marriage relationship? How does it work? And how do you find a man willing to enter this type of arrangement?

    doval replied 7 years, 1 month ago 2 Members · 1 Reply
  • 1 Reply
  • doval

    Member
    30 April 2018 at 17:02

    Hi,

    Co-parenting is what you and the co-parent make it. Ideally, two consenting persons will set clear parameters of how each will participate with the parents. It may be that one parent will remain the “custodial” parenting, meaning the person legally empowered and responsible for making major decisions such as residence, education, religion, medical care, etc., for the child. Or it may mean that all such decisions will be shared. It may mean that the child will reside primarily with one parent (primary “residential custody,” as opposed to legal custody). Or it may mean that residential custody will be evenly divided. It may mean that the parents agree to live close to each other; or it may mean that the child will travel between more distantly located homes. It will certainly mean cooperation, collaboration, and engaged involvement on the part whoever establishes such an arrangement. It should also mean that each parent can count on the support, friendship, and investment of the other.

    As for whether there are men willing to do such a thing, that’s what sites like this are for. For those men seeking full engagement in child rearing, I think it can be even more challenging to find a willing partner than for women. I think societal expectations, and the expectations of many women wishing to be mothers themselves, are that the mother will assume a principal role and the man’s key role is as a “sperm donor,” whether literally or figuratively. I think if you are serious about co-parenting, you will find a ready pool of equally serious men wanting to be a real part of a child’s life from which to choose.

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