when complexity is too simple to be true

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    by cregox      .      15 Sep 2021

    i just want to give birth to many children! starting with one.

    nothing less. nothing more.

    the complexity arises from my life situation and society, i would say.

    i'm lucky enough to own a home (not the land, though), with a roof, a car, and solar powered stuff in portugal. also to have many familiar and friendly partners in life, including a wonderful woman.

    and i'm also unlucky enough to have virtually zero money, no partner willing to have kids, a big will to have kids, and a huge will to live completely outside the norm.

    each item from both my lucky and unlucky lists can be seen as positive or negative traits...

    but, in practice, i don't have any kids despite my big will!

    and, while my life don't take the turn that it will, i can't afford to have one, planned in the norm at least. it works be stupid if i did. i can hardly afford my own food in the end of the day!

    no.

    any kid i have today will need to be under heavy legal support so i can't be financially responsible! sadly, this is my life situation.

    and yes!

    i had donated sperm before. once. over 2 years ago. and the clinic just called me asking for more, reminding me i did that.

    in europe, however, i am not allowed to get to know the kid before they turn 18, or whatever.

    i do want to at least see them! as soon as possible. meeting and being part of their life would be awesome. although i believe that i might need this experience only within an intentional community/village, in which i can match to be the parent of whoever wants me to and i can do it properly.

    sorry if you live in the norm, but i definitely don't want to throw them in the school. i want to live with them, and the elders, and be present, but not be the main or nearly sole responsible for their behaviour.

    short of that, any experience that forgive me for my lack of money, will be very welcomed!

    i am still considering if i can pay even for this website, though...

    in all cases: thanks for reading.

    and cheers!

    0 Replies

    i just want to give birth to many children! starting with one.

    nothing less. nothing more.

    the complexity arises from my life situation and society, i would say.

    i'm lucky enough to own a home (not the land, though), with a roof, a car, and solar powered stuff in portugal. also to have many familiar and friendly partners in life, including a wonderful woman.

    and i'm also unlucky enough to have virtually zero money, no partner willing to have kids, a big will to have kids, and a huge will to live completely outside the norm.

    each item from both my lucky and unlucky lists can be seen as positive or negative traits...

    but, in practice, i don't have any kids despite my big will!

    and, while my life don't take the turn that it will, i can't afford to have one, planned in the norm at least. it works be stupid if i did. i can hardly afford my own food in the end of the day!

    no.

    any kid i have today will need to be under heavy legal support so i can't be financially responsible! sadly, this is my life situation.

    and yes!

    i had donated sperm before. once. over 2 years ago. and the clinic just called me asking for more, reminding me i did that.

    in europe, however, i am not allowed to get to know the kid before they turn 18, or whatever.

    i do want to at least see them! as soon as possible. meeting and being part of their life would be awesome. although i believe that i might need this experience only within an intentional community/village, in which i can match to be the parent of whoever wants me to and i can do it properly.

    sorry if you live in the norm, but i definitely don't want to throw them in the school. i want to live with them, and the elders, and be present, but not be the main or nearly sole responsible for their behaviour.

    short of that, any experience that forgive me for my lack of money, will be very welcomed!

    i am still considering if i can pay even for this website, though...

    in all cases: thanks for reading.

    and cheers!

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