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God’s Plan?
Hi everyone,
You can consider me a ‘religious’ person b/c I am a Christ follower (to the best of my ability) and I try to adhere to christian principles…..so much so that I have been celibate for nearly 20 years hoping that God will bring the man in my life that he has chosen for me. I believed that if try my best to not purposefully engage in ‘sinful’ activiities, that God will bless my life, marriage, and children when the time is right. I am running out of time…and I’m wondering should I take matters into my own hands…become pregnant by AI (artificial insemination) and have the father coparent with me. I still have the desire to get married. I wonder is ‘taking matter into my own hands’ wrong. Should I co-parent if I have a secret desire for love and marriage with the right mate. What are the chances are the co-parent becoming the husband and father? What if the coparent has to come second or third should I marry a husband that will accept the child of the co-parent as his own and work out hectic schedule btw our different lives. I come with a clean slate, no baggage…am I setting myself up for failure? I’m new to all of this; however, I have thought about this for more than 15 years…but I did not know if this was the ‘right’ thing to do for a single christian woman….I still don’t know.
I realize that many are you are not conservative, but I welcome your opinions; but keep in mind that I do want to please God even though I have my own ‘selfish’ desires that I cannot squelch.
Thank you 🙂
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3 Replies
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Ihave loads of questions too, but looking a my friends with kids i realise whatever way you bring up a child there will always be someone telling you yoou are doing it the wrong way, do you have support to help you with these decisions ,it’s o.k to grieve for the life you dreamt for, but why as a good person deny yourself the gift of motherhood 🙂
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Sister I believe it is God’s design for a mother and father to be married and have a child together, co-parenting is similar to a divorce only this is without you knowing that person but putting your child in someones life that you never even put your own life to trust with this person. I strongly recommend you wait upon the Lord and seek good Godly counsel from your church. God has a will for your life and family trust in Him He will not fail you.
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Hello! I agree with Sherri with the idea that co-parenting is similar to divorce. My position, at 40, is that very few women l know do not have children. Some are married, some re-married, some now single after divorce, and some always single. I think if l have a child through co-parenting, then meet someone, l’ll expect him to accept the child exactly the same as if l’d been divorced, and the child was a result of a relationship. The child would be mine first, then the co-parent’s.
For me, l had a long-term relationship with a man who had major mental health issues. We waited and waited, it was never the ‘right’ time to start a family, until one day l realised it was exactly what he wanted – no children. Now l’m reaching the end of my fertile years, l’ve waited to find someone else, but l realise that finding someone and having a child might well be two seperate issues.
I would say, concentrate your search for a co-parent who has similar religious values to you. And be kind to yourself, life is rarely ideal, and we aren’t perfect. Good luck, l hope you get everything your heart needs.
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