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Co parent with adopted children? 45 not sure if viability is certain for me.
I am looking for a co-parent who is financially stable and secure for the future of the children. I am a 45 year old attractive hispanic white female looking to have a family now. I just stumbled on co-parenting and think this is really the way it is going for modern families these days as I know I am not the only person who has tried to do it the “right way” either in a partnership or marriage. I tried it that way and it did not work out. I could adopt myself but I strongly believe in having both parents for a child as I come from a single mom who raised 3 kids on her own from the age of 18. I am not saying I cannot do it and I suppose if this does not work out I will be in that direction.
I have never been pregnant, I have always wanted to be but that just never happened. I am checking that viability now at my age but in my research the percentages are alot lower, so I must consider all options. I am moving ahead to some fertility testing, last I checked I was good to go, everything checked out accept my irregular period cycles. This is a process. While that is taking place I am opening this up to another option, co parenting platonically with adopting children.
I am the olderst in my entire extended and immediate family. I survived alot in my life and built alot of where I am on my own. I did not have a father but I believe if I would have, things just would have been a bit better for me. I see the real need for a child to have a support system, a father who is active in there childs lives in all ways that matter so much to the development of a child. This journey is different for everyone. My journey is late in the game, but I got to believe there are others out there like me. I am new to being on all these co-parenting websites and social groups, so forgive my naivety as I may not know everything of such a journey I am embarking on, however like with anything in my life to understand I am absorbing every bit of information I can online to get more acquainted with this decision I made to co-parent with someone to have children.
I am located in Albuquerque, New Mexico, so ideally it would be nice to find someone locally here with myself if this where to truly work, however I am open to other U.S. States. I am originally from Los Angeles, CA born and raised there until the age of 25 and I got married an moved over seas in Europe for 15 years and recently came back to the states 6 years ago. I see myself well travelled and cultured. I also feel more evolved and open because of my experiences in Europe in general. I am a very non judgemental person , but like most mexican women in my family, we hold space very well and are the primary caregivers in raising children. So I consider myself strong, self sufficient and an intellect and sensualist at heart. I am a tough love person, but the many years of community work and mentorship has slightly softened me a bit, not much but enough to where I understand those grey areas a bit more. I am bold and tend to be very thought out, compassionate and sensitive, but never persuaded easily. I am a trustworthy person a true humanitarian at heart. I am spiritual these days, though I was raised as a christian in my younger years, I do not practice church by going to a building to pray or to fellowship, yet I pray and keep my circle small and contribute to my community in a variety of ways. I understand the world more openly then most these days then those who would like to control and critique it with its laws towards people in general. Life is very short and it is of my opinion government and or people try to mold it to what they think everyone must fit into. “oh if we only had a brain?”. I love art, music, live theatre, opera, vintage, dance, jewelry making, I also sing. The world has alot to offer and I plan to expose all of these wonderful things to the children I have and prepare them for a future that will be very different from now in the next 20-30 years as we enter in the age of AI and Robotics. I am a creative indivudal , entrepreneur and visionary at business. My work experience is in business administration where I act as a busisness manager/ COO to help companies thrive.
Lets weed out all the individuals now that think I am a woman who cant take care of herself and is desperate, as I see there are some people who are using co-parenting as a front to there sexual fettishes and a front to using co-parenting as a means to find a relationship because they think they have something in common by making this a romantic situation. I am not saying this does not happen, but I am not going into this intentionally romantically. As I said I am not easily persuaded or convinced. I need to make clear I am serious about finding a co parent that shows up and wants to be involved 100% in the childs life. I am cautious and open at the same time. I desire to have a family. I am leaning towards adoption co-parenting because I am not sure if my chances are high in conceiving.
My co-parent should be between the ages of 35-45, be financially stable and secure for the future of our children. They will have a strong desire to have a family and do what it takes to achieve that. They will have mastered balancing work and life so that the children have more of there father. You are secure within yourself, you have hobbies and interests that fill a creative need within you that you share with your children ex: fishing, woodworking, camping so forth. You feel a strong sense to provide, care and protect your children and the well being of there mother. You see the importance of education and out of the box thinking yet you remain practical and logical in your approach when the heart has a tendency to get in the way. You provide that masculine energy that stabalizes situations and you represent the calm in the storm for your children. A place they know they can turn to for safety and guidance. Well let’s hope this is not a tall order :). These are a few things, but you are so much more than these words here now. You have patience and non judgemental attitudes towards people. Your not prejudice, you encourage growth and possibility but understand the importance on planning that journey and sustaining a momentum to get across the finish line. You work in tandum with there mother that supports these qualities and nurtures the spirit in these ideas, goals and dreams that propels our children to continue to thrive in all they do and opens a world that is made for them as anything is possible if they have the right mindset and peserverance to chase what they seek, and for the type of person they will become in an ever changing world…
How many kids?
I would like to have 2-3 kids, we can start with 1 if you like and add on within 1-3 years.
Arrangement:
Albuquerque, New Mexico has a real easy pathway to fostering and adoption. This is an option I was going towards. It can still work. I do not mind living in the same house or in seperate houses. Ages of adoption I was thinking between 4-8 years old but I am open to other ages as I was only thinking of age in terms of being around as long as possible for this kids in terms of life expectancy. I would love to adopt a newborn, I hear this can be hard, not impossible though, but we would need to think of how that looks for our ages. I don’t want to be to old to where I cannot enjoy our children and be there for them. This does not have to be romantic, it can be strictly platonic. We can have romantic relationships with others but that will need to be discussed of the level of involvement so that we make sure the family we are trying to create is that priority. We are both adults so there can be a world where everyone is happy as long as we understand the priority for the children as they come first. I would like to stay in Albuquerque, but I can be open to moving if thats where you are more financially secure. A place that would not be an issue to move to is Los Angeles, CA as this is where I am from and I have a large family there and they have kids. Are you financially secure to where you can support us so I can be at home with the kids for the first couple years until they go into school? or do I work full time or part time? and we juggle the time.
Getting to know you:
I would like to know much more about you and your values, where you come from, your family.. So it would be smart to say at least we become good friends and know eachother on a sincere heart level. No judgement. Lets see at least if what we want aligns. When this becomes more serious we talk about all the things most married couples don’t talk about until after the fact. Like custody, college, religion if any, school, other partners, family structure, etc. We both get to be apart of all of it 🙂 I do not see me having several co-parents in this arrangement. I would like to find 1 co-parent to do this with. I am excited to meet you.
If this is you please message me.. thankyou for reading all of this.
-Natalie
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