You have written the best forum post I have ever read. I wish you absolutely all the best in finding a woman who is just as great as you appear to be, and help you to raise your children to be great people too. I totally understand exactly what you mean when you say that your friends don’t know what to say – and how difficult it is to talk to your parents also. Other people can and will have opinions, and they’ll all be different. You need to do what you want to do, and feel is the right thing to do. I, personally, haven’t been successful in finding a woman who wants to co parent with me – although living in a small country (like I do) means the number of women who want to co parent is very much limited – however, I am not going to give up hope. None of us can ever be ‘ready’ to be parents, as no books, internet, or your family & friends can describe that in the way that you will feel. Being a parent is the greatest thing in the world, but also very life changing – to the better, as ‘your’ perspective on all sorts of things changes hugely. One thing I would be pretty certain about, and that is at the beginning, your parents may struggle with the concept of co-parenting and find it uneasy and’or difficult to deal with, but your child/children will be their grand children, and they will love those kids to the end of the world. Unfortunately, I can’t answer or comment on your other questions, because I haven’t ‘got there’ yet. However, I am an open person, and can talk about anything with anybody, so any potential problems or issues are likely to be able to be worked through, by having decent conversations with the woman.
I hope my comments are of some help to you – and I definitely would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the very best in your search. I am very certain that you will find a woman who has the same (or very similar) morals to you.