learning its a boy

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by yingying » 03 Aug 2018

I'm a single mom.
Finally pregnant again! I was so happy and excited.
I recently learned I'm pregnant with a little boy. When I was told, I felt happy but the next day a swirl of emotion invaded me.
There are reasons why I'm single- I distrust men, they always treated me with no respect, no love.
I have no positive masculine figure in my life. My father is a deception, my brother is violent and the baby's father has no interest to know anything about us. The only men I love are gay.
I never thought I would react that way to such an announcement.
I've been crying a lot and I feel scared that this child is a boy.
I am not proud of those feelings I hold. Am I the only one to have felt that?
I am the only ungrateful mom out there?
When will this sadness go away?
yingying

by yingying » 06 Aug 2018

OK, I do feel much better now. Actually happy again.
I guess pregnancy hormones make everything seem so much more dramatic.
Yes, I will probably have to run a lot more around the house to child-proof everything again... (my daughter was an angel...)
but it will be an great experience.
Just to reassure moms out there, deception passes fast :)
Yingying




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