38yr old woman, wondering how to choose a donor...

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    by Lisakura      .      17 Jan 2020

    I’ve had my first appointment with fertility associates and the wait list is another 12 months. I’d really like to start trying to get pregnant now, but one thing that holds me back is how to choose a donor, who to choose, and then the other thing, how to broach this with my child when they start asking about their father.
    I usually end up stuck and put off doing anything about it for a while... but now I’m really ready.

    Anyone else going through this?
    Arohanui! From Lisa.

    4 Replies

    I’ve had my first appointment with fertility associates and the wait list is another 12 months. I’d really like to start trying to get pregnant now, but one thing that holds me back is how to choose a donor, who to choose, and then the other thing, how to broach this with my child when they start asking about their father.
    I usually end up stuck and put off doing anything about it for a while... but now I’m really ready.

    Anyone else going through this?
    Arohanui! From Lisa.

    I would be very interested to discuss this with you.

    Please leave a message in this forum, if you would like to chat with me. Thanks

    Peter

    Hi,

    I'm in a similar situation. 39 and finally ready to do this. However, I'm not even sure what to discuss or how to discuss it. This is vastly different than dating.

    As for talking to your child, I don't think that should stop you from doing this now. You can find a way to bring it up. One podcast I've been listening to is called the longest shortest time. Some of their episodes have to do with being a single mother by choice, and one mom explained to her child that he was so wanted that she worked hard to find the right man who could help make him.

    For me, I'd like to have a donor who wants to be involved in the child's life. So I guess one thing to do might be to consider what's really important to you, and what you could compromise on. I guess in that way, it is a little bit like dating. If I find any other resources that look helpful, I will post them here.

    Honestly, the small talk of starting an online conversation with someone who might inseminate you is strange and difficult, to say the least!

    I would very much like to chat to you about this, as it's something I am also interested in.

    Peter

    Hey Peter, I’m interested in hearing your thoughts! From Lisa


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