We’re sure that you feel so much more relaxed now that you have found your perfect sperm donor online through CoParents.com, but you might also be wondering what you should be doing next. And that’s a very good question.
Once you’ve chosen your sperm donor and made contact through coparents.com, it would be wise to meet the donor in one form or another. You could choose to do this virtually, or you could meet in person in a casual setting. Once you have met your donor and are satisfied with the result of your meeting, you will then need to decide which form on insemination you wish to use, and find a HFEA regulated fertility clinic if necessary.
If you are going to meet your sperm donor virtually, then you should perhaps set up a webcam call through which you can both discuss your preferences, and then you can get a look at the man whose genes will be a part of your child. If you want to keep your sperm donor anonymous (this could be your preference or his), then it is possible to ‘meet’ via a simple phone call, but this may make it more difficult to ask and answer the necessary questions.
If it is possible, it would be advantageous to meet your donor face to face. It is well known that face to face communication is by far a lot easier than communicating via the telephone or the internet, and this way you will really be able to get to know your donor best. You should perhaps arrange to meet casually the first time around, so that there is not too much pressure on the both of you. This could be in a local coffee shop close by to both of you, or in a pub or another public setting, this way you will both be relaxed and able to get to know the true personalities of each other. Remember, this is not a date, so you shouldn’t be putting on airs and graces for each other, it is important, particularly if the donor wishes to be a part of the child’s life, that you get to know the real personalities of each other, because you will be involved in each other’s lives for a long time ahead.
Once you have met your donor for the first time and are still comfortable to go ahead with insemination, you will need to decide which method of insemination you wish to go ahead with. Read more about different forms of insemination on coparents.com here, but make sure that all parties agree with the decision made.
If you choose to go for artificial insemination, you should find a HFEA regulated fertility clinic that is in a convenient location for all parties. The donor can then make his donation in the clinic, and they will look after the specimen until you are ready to be inseminated. This enables the donor to remain anonymous if he wishes to do so, and he doesn’t have to be present for the entire insemination process. The clinic will also undertake any necessary health and fertility screening tests before the donor makes his contribution, so that you don’t have to worry about that part of it.
However, if you wish to go forward with natural insemination, you will have to carry out these screening checks yourself, and for a helpful guide to pre-donation tests, please see coparents.com’s guide here. Once these checks have been carried out, you can go ahead with insemination in the way that makes you the most comfortable.