You’ve been waiting for this moment for such a long time, and now you’ve found a person that could become your co-parent! But before making any important decisions, you need to be sure that you can trust him or her and that he or she could really commit to having a baby with you. Here are a few things to check to know if this person is the perfect co-parenting match for you.
He or she loves children
This one is obvious but as you want to have a baby with him or her, you need to be sure that your potential co-parent really wants to be present for your child and be part of a family. If he or she is often talking about their niece or nephew and how much they enjoy spending time with them, it’s a good sign.
You share common values
Responsibility, empathy or tolerance might be values you want to teach to your child. In order to raise a happy and respectful person, you need to know if you and your co-parent share the same moral values. As for religion, you don’t necessarily need to have the same beliefs, or any at all, but it’s best to ensure that you both agree concerning religious education.
You agree on how to raise your child
How you wish to raise your child is a very important conversation to have with your co-parent. How do you imagine yourself as a parent? It’s important to agree on the discipline methods and basic rules so as not to confuse your child. As a matter of fact, these methods have an impact on your child’s behavior and on the adult he or she will become. Whether you feel like being an authoritarian, authoritative or permissive parent, make sure that you are on the same page as your partner.
He or she is at peace with their demons
When you are looking for a co-parent you want to find a responsible person that will always put the child’s well-being before his or her own needs. It’s certainly true that everyone has their demons, but you need to be sure that your potential co-parenting match knows how to control them. Someone who is unstable emotionally, depressed or even irresponsible is not yet ready to create a healthy and safe environment for a child.
It’s easy to communicate with him/her
Communication is essential in any relationship. Co-parenting requires a lot of organization and thus you need to be able to talk to your partner easily. How to raise your child or how to organize shared custody, for example, could be stressful topics. It’s therefore important that you and your co-parent can respect each other’s opinion and listen calmly to each other to take the best decisions for your child.
He or she is financially stable
Raising a child costs money, even more so if you choose co-parenting and decide to live in separate homes. It is vital that your co-parent earns enough to help you support your child throughout their infancy, both before and after the birth.
You think he or she could be a great example for your child
Every parent wants to raise their child within the best conditions possible and offer him or her a safe environment. If you like the personality of your prospective partner and you imagine him or her as a good parent or, even better, as a great example for your child, then you might have found the perfect co-parenting match.
He/she lives near you or is willing to move
This point is very important if you decide to share custody as most co-parents do. One week with dad, the next week with mom…Things would be much easier if you lived next to each other, in the same city or in neighboring towns. Spending too much time in the car each week would not be good for your child or for you.