What women usually look for in their parenting partner.

Man seeking woman, or woman seeking man? Are you looking for somebody to co-parent your child with, but want to make sure you’re on the same page? Everybody will have their own requirements when they are looking for a parenting partner, but we have compiled a list of what most women look for in their prospective co-parent.

  1. Stability. Women want to know that the father of their child will be able to provide for their offspring, and this doesn’t only mean financially. Emotional availability and relationship stability are also key factors in ensuring that the child is raised in a stable environment.
  2. Health. Women want their donor, whether they are a co-parent or not, to be in good health with a good family history. The advantage of selecting the father of your child from a bunch of possible suitors enables a woman to ensure that her child gets off to the best possible start in terms of their wellbeing.
  3. Similar morals and values. If a woman is choosing a stranger to raise a child with, she at least wants to ensure that the child will be raised with the same morals across the board. Two co-parents should always share the same intentions for their child in order to co-parents consistently.
  4. Family man. If a woman wants her donor to be a co-parent, then she wants him to be a part of her family. Yes, the child may well be split between two homes and two family units physically, but choosing to co-parent gives you the option of creating a loving family environment for your child, even if it may not be conventional. Most importantly, women want a loving and involved father for their child.

 

couple sitting cafe drinking coffee

 

Meeting a co-parent is step one of the process, and once you’ve hit it off and discovered that you have similar parenting values, wishes for your prospective child and desires for your co-parenting relationship; you’ll feel as if you are really on your way to achieving your dream of becoming a parent. One thing that co-parents should always think about, however, is background checking you prospective co-parent.

This goes for all of those that want to become a parent; man, woman, gay, lesbian, straight: despite the bond that you have developed and the shared desires for your future, you cannot know everything about this person with whom you are going to share the most important aspect of your future.

Making a connection is step one, granted, but making an informed connection is step two. There are ways of background checking your prospective co-parents, and it couldn’t be easier.

Whether you just want to make sure that your co-parent is not on the sex offender’s registry, or you want to know some more complex information about that person, you can choose from four different levels of background checks, each level providing you with more in-depth information than the previous one. Information you can choose to receive includes criminal histories from states, counties and countries, as well as terrorist watch lists and civil record repositories.

No, it’s not far-fetched and it’s not an example of how little trust our nation has in the population, it’s an example of how we should be becoming more and more sensible in this day when technology allows us not only access to finding a romantic or parenting partner, but also allows us the information we need that can tell us whether we can really trust them.

In order to perform a background check you will need some information from your prospective co-parent, and you shouldn’t be worried about asking for this information and offering it up about yourself. The person’s full name, date of birth and address will help to locate information about them, while ethnicity and work history as well as place of birth will also help.

If you do not want to be so direct with asking the prospective co-parent his or her details, remember you could ask more convoluted questions that give you an idea such as asking when they graduated high school or asking for their zodiac sign. At the end of the day, it is in both of your best interests to both receive background checks on the other, in order to increase your level of trust and confidence in your co-parent.

The more information you have about each other, the better, and the more you feel comfortable and trusting about the other co-parent, the better. Remember, while this may not be a romantic relationship, you are committing to a lifetime of being in each other’s lives.

Co-parenting Pre-Conception Counselling

Thinking about becoming a single parents or thinking about becoming a co-parent together with somebody else in a similar situation to you requires not only a lot of deep thought, but also a lot of planning. You may think that the trickiest part of this procedure is finding the right sperm donor or co-parent for you, but in actual fact there are other important factors that deserve a lot of your attention.

This is why many people, no matter how they are looking to get pregnant, consider pre-conception counselling during the time they are trying to conceive or perhaps even before that. Pre-conception counselling can help you out with any information you may not know about prior to conceiving your child. For example; choosing to enter into counselling with an expert can help to guide you on planning towards a healthy pregnancy, avoiding complications, and ensuring that you are deficient of all stress and lack of awareness surrounding pregnancy difficulties.

Counselling could also be an opportune time for you to talk over your parenting plans with your co-parent, and ensure that your child will be raised in a harmonized family, in a relationship that shows high levels of cooperation, support and most of all best interests for the child. Counselling will not only benefit the prospective co-parents, it will also benefit the child in the long run, as the parents will enter into the entire process on the same page.

Pre-conception counselling is not just for the woman trying to conceive, it is also an extremely useful element of preconception care for the known donor or co-parent and their partner if they have one. Not only will counselling answer any last nagging questions and concerns, but it will also help to manage the emotions of all involved and to make the process as simple and straightforward as possible. For the co-parents, counselling can enable you to easily clarify your vision for your family, what you foresee for your future and how you expect your child to grow. You can also find answers to concerns surrounding relationships outside the family, or to create co-parenting agreements if necessary.

One of the best elements of pre-conception counselling, particularly for a single man or woman who wants to become a parent, is that it can help you to decide which path you are going to choose. For a woman, seeking counselling will enable you some relief when deciding whether to use a known donor, sperm bank or co-parent in your quest for parenthood. Similarly, for a man, speaking to somebody whose professional advice you value will take some of burden off when you are deciding whether to use a surrogate mother, or whether you want to enter into a co-parenting relationship.

Pre-conception counselling is for all types of people, whether you are in a same sex relationship, heterosexual relationship, you are a single man, single woman or two friends who want to have a child together. Seeking advice before the conception of your child will only work to improve your knowledge and your experience of parenthood.