When you are a single woman or a lesbian couple, finding someone to fulfill your dream of having a child can be an uphill battle. But lucky you, your online research has been successful and now you’ve got a date with a prospective co-parent! To make this date a win, it’s best to be well prepared. He might be the one you’ve been looking for!
Meet in a coffee shop or a bar rather than in a restaurant
For a co-parent first date, it’s best to keep it short and fun. Meeting in a restaurant might not be the most appropriate idea when you encounter someone for the first time. Think about it: if you discover halfway through the meal that he’s not the one for you, it could be really difficult and potentially embarrassing to have to end the date prematurely! Thus, give preference to a nice coffee shop or a bar you like, somewhere you feel comfortable in and where you can talk with confidence.
Feel comfortable in your shoes
You’re surely aware of it: first impressions matter. For a first date, opt for an outfit that is smart but casual. Your sexy dress and your strict suit are a no-no for this occasion. This is the same for makeup, less is more. As for the shoes, don’t wear high heels if this is not your habit. Show the best of yourself but always stay natural and simple! Of course, the most important thing is to be yourself and to feel great in your outfit.
Prepare a list of questions
If you’ve been looking for a co-parent for a long time, you might know that it can be hard to find the right person! Therefore, you need to use this co-parent first date to ask the important questions: Do you have kids? What is your financial situation? Do you smoke? How do you imagine yourself as a co-parent? There are many things that you need to discuss, so it’s best to prepare a list of subjects. This will help you to remember all the important topics you should cover. Naturally, if the date goes well, you’ll have other opportunities to ask him more questions!
Listen to him too
This date is about getting to know him more to see if you could match as co-parents. Be an active listener, it’s essential that you pay attention to what he says. Keep in mind to focus on him and not too much on yourself. If you feel like you’ve been talking for too long without any interruption, make him participate. Change the subject or ask him questions about his personal experiences. Your story is important but he has very interesting things to talk about too!
If you don’t see yourself co-parenting with this man, tell him as soon as possible. Don’t make him waste his time in this difficult search for a co-parent, even if this is a hard thing to say! Also, always give your point of view when you disagree with him about something you’re discussing – for instance his conception of co-parenting or discipline methods. He can’t guess what you are thinking, so say it! Having different opinions doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t match. So be daring and tell him what’s on your mind, because sometimes you can fix things with a little bit of discussion.
Arriving on time is obvious: being 45 minutes late will surely bother him and the rest of the date might be awkward… As for your phone, turn it off or set it on silent and leave it your bag. Don’t put it in the middle of table! Focusing constantly on your phone will makes him think that you don’t care about the conversation. By the way, a person who is aggressive and impolite with the staff of the coffee shop doesn’t give a good impression either.
Show that you’re confident
Avoid the “I don’t know” or “tell-me-what-to-do” attitude. You need to show him that you are proactive and confident. He is looking for a co-parent to have a child with, therefore you need to prove you’re someone responsible that he can rely on. At the end of the date, offer to pay. This is a small detail but it shows that you’re an independent woman who doesn’t hesitate to take decisions.