It’s hard bringing up children with a partner, but on your own you’ll have to do everything yourself. Don’t try to be superwoman, learn how to leave jobs that really aren’t that important. When your son or daughter is old enough make a game out of balling socks, sorting clothes or washing the dishes. If you can’t do the ironing don’t fret, put stuff away un-ironed and iron as you need it. Use a cupboard to put toys away at night and have fun walking the dog with your little one.
You’ll need Support
Family and friends will be important once you have a child of your own. Your child will learn from the people you surround yourself with. Use brothers and grandfathers as male role models. Get to know other women in your situation, there are plenty of websites and forums on the internet. Don’t be ashamed of being a Mom on her own. Talk to other mom’s at the school and invite people round for coffee. Don’t be alone.
If you work then you will need to pay for childcare, which can be burden out of one wage. If your parents can help out for a couple of days, or you can work from home before your child starts toddling then that might be a good compromise. A cheaper option than a Daycare Center might be a Family Care Provider who will look after your child in their own home.
Unfortunately, without a partner, you’ll be pretty much hands on for most of the time. If family and friends offer to babysit, then let them. Even if you’re too tired for partying, you can arrange to meet friends and have something to eat or go to the cinema. Better still arrange for your child to be looked after on a day you’re not working and treat yourself to some pampering. This is where your support group will help you to make sure that you do get some time to re-charge your batteries.
Bringing up a baby without the extra money a partner brings in can be challenging. If however, you’ve done your homework you will have already worked out what you can and can’t afford. Don’t forget to try and put some money aside each month for an emergency. You might have to take time off work if you or your child get ill.
Just because you’re a single Mom doesn’t mean you have to stop looking for love. There are plenty of guys out there who are happy to date Moms. If you do start to get serious make sure he really does like children and you have similar views on child rearing. If you don’t want anything serious, but just like to date, take care about introducing your child to someone who might not be around much, as this might unsettle them.
Talking about Daddy
In an article from The Bump website, Christine Coppa says she learned from a child psychologist to tell the truth when asked questions by your little one, but to then change the subject quickly. Of course as your child grows older and has a better understanding of the situation, you can explain how you feel and why you made your choices.
Despite the fact that many people believe a family should consist of two parents, the fact is that if a mother and father don’t get on and spend their time together in conflict, this is more harmful to a child than only having a single parent. This is pointed out in Katie Rophie’s article in the New York Times, Sunday Review.
If you yearn for a child, do the maths, find out all you can and then go for it, just like many strong independent American woman have already done.
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